blessed are...

like trees losing their leaves, birds shedding old feathers, and toyota recalling all of those cars... nature seems to call for makeovers. a reinvention of who we are, what we look like, or how we act. it's natural to take a deep breath, and start over.

when you reinvent, you should mainly rely on yourself and not the strength or opinions of others. this is for you, and you alone. if you're reinventing yourself for someone else, or worse a boy, grow up. do something great for yourself.

and i'm not talking about blowing hundreds of dollars on new clothes, although that would be so much fun. it's like what alicia silverstone in clueless... "this time, i makeover my soul." such an insightful movie (sarcasm)...

mine? i'm drowning in an ocean of love (god's love, duh), getting another piercing, re-doing my hair, running more, eating better, practicing being more laid back and easy going, smiling more, and strengthening my confidence in who i am, with and without my friends.

sound good? you betcha.

the beatitudes say, "blessed are the poor in spirit..." i think this is because once we hit our lowest of lows, we see god and can build ourselves up again to find a great happiness. god desires for us not to worry, to be joyful and happy in his presence. but how can we appreciate being happy if we never experience times that truly break our hearts?

blah blah blah

people complain about everything. that they're hungry, about homework, the weather, being tired, missing people they even complain about people who complain. seem's like, for most people, when they speak is just a bunch of whining.

how rude? not only to those around us, but to god. we moan about how the lives or weather or food he has created for us just ain't good enough. we always think we can have, or deserve, it better. so we feel entitled to complain when things don't go our way.

not to be rude but, shut up! for crying out loud, sush.
like every other, i am guilty of this too. i complain about the complainers a lot.

why is this important? because we should shut our fat mouths and give em a rest so that we may be quiet and listen to the Lord.
i feel like prayer has turned into our personal complaint session with God. he taught us how to pray, but as we lay in bed, falling asleep, we list off all the things we didn't like about our day that "god needs to fix."

i think god gets sick and tired of that after a while to be honest....
and so do people around us.

why do we waste so much time being unhappy, when god gives us so many opportunities to be happy?

love.

"you are my love, my life, always forever...."

i am finding myself in increasingly odd sorts. it seems when i have no one, i find my self auctioning off my heart to the highest bidder.

which boy texted me back quickest today? which boy says im beautiful? which boy has known me longest?
i know it sounds sad, and a little pathetic i admit, but it's true and i know i'm not the only one who does this.

i take what i can get, not the best i can get. i feel like there's never a good time to be single.

but sadly, i always have more learning to do because that's just not true. as phil wickham sings, god always loves us. why do i sell my heart to the highest bidder when God has been bidding enormous amounts for me since before i was born. my heart should be long to Him, and that should make it content.

the hard thing is, this is one tough pill to swallow. i dont know why, it just us.
thankfully, i serve a patient, and loving father.

grande no whip java chip frap.

joy

hope.

i have a little something on my mind to share in light of recent events.

i often find myself being let-down. it's easy to point fingers at another and blame them for not meeting your expectations, but what if we've placed too much stock in others?

as i girl, a guy tells you you're beautiful and it makes you feel good the whole day. you're boyfriend bring you flowers, the guy behind you in the grocery line lends you a few dollars, or your roommate spontaneously vacuums your apartment. i'm not saying people shouldn't do nice things for one another, but do we place too much value in these little things that make us feel special or loved?

do we too often expect people to always make us feel special and loved? why?

there is a God who thought we were so special He sent His son to die for us. not to get all sunday morning preachy or anything, but God always thinks were special and always loves us, so why is it so important for others to do the same?

when someone in your life makes you feel special, you feel it presently, tangibly. God's love is much more undefinable, everlasting, intangible, and hard to grasp.... but that's why it's so beautiful.

we should treat each other with respect considering we are all brothers and sisters in Christ, but holding mere humans to the same standard as God? not going to happen. should we lower our expectations? maybe. but not at the cost of our self-respect. if your friends or boyfriend/girlfriend is flat-out treating you like crap, then no, do not lower your standards. you deserve to be treated as the beautiful creation God made you to be.

you could have the best roommate in the world, the most romantic boyfriend ever, the most sensitive friends, and they all (even combined) could never meet the same standards that God does.

learning this is a process. accepting that people in your life can't meet God-like standards is not like taking a test once and getting an A. learning about your relationship with God and how that translates into your human relationships is like learning to snowboard....

you cruise for a little bit but then catch an edge and face-plant. you spend a lot of time on your butt when you're learning, but eventually you can ride smoothly. however, you can always fall again, even if you're pro like Shawn White. it's about understanding why you fell, then picking your sore butt back up and trying again.

feels like thats the way a lot of things are when it comes to God...

let's put our hope in God. hope that he will give us the beautiful lives we deserve (with beautiful people) according to his will. let's not constantly put our hope in others... letdown is painful.

pitter patter pitter patter.

rain. i love you.

3D movies.

avatar was mind-blowingly awesome. the visuals, the uniqueness, everything. i might just go see it again.
the message in it is also pretty neat. the movies speaks to the viewer of the heinous corruption of the capitalist society and greedy americas. the "do whatever it takes to make the big bucks" idea contrasted with the creatures living in harmony with nature and their spiritual tree thing. you can predict who is going to win that one...
i left the theatre being a little sad to be part of that nation who is doing a similar thing in the middle east (not saying iraqis are tree huggers who are 10 feet tall and wear thongs). the movie was brilliant and captivated the viewer from start to finish.
a beautiful movie.
i give it 2 thumbs way way up.
the best movie i have seen in a long time.
go see it. now.

the best best friend ever.

when you're feeling down, and i mean really down, nothing lifts your spirits like being surprised by your best friend and him bringing you scrumptious chocolate frozen yogurt with cookie dough. last night was the closest to happy i've felt in a long time.

fueling my online shopping addiction

modcloth.com

secondhand serenade

overly emotional alternative music.

apu.

first day of school. like kindergarden all over again...

monterey

my family. the sunsets. the chilly weather. beverlys. my kitty. myo. my girlfriends. fresh air. my boyfriend.
all will be dearly missed this semester.

my home.

movies

fun afternoon sharing delicious popcorn with my mother.
good movie. depth.
and i was knitting at the same time.
perfection.

coral de tierra

the best place to stargaze in the entire state of california.
especially when you're in the arms of someone you love.

who knew?

apparently starbucks makes cupcakes.
how did i discover this?
today was my last day working at beverly's for the winter and my managers love me.
i love that job and love them.
i am excited for inventory in the summer.

cowl.

decided to knit a cowl.

having a hard time deciding on a color.

nothing is more relaxing than drinking a caramel latte from starbucks, looking out on the monterey bay, and knitting.
this is my inspiration...