love.

"you are my love, my life, always forever...."

i am finding myself in increasingly odd sorts. it seems when i have no one, i find my self auctioning off my heart to the highest bidder.

which boy texted me back quickest today? which boy says im beautiful? which boy has known me longest?
i know it sounds sad, and a little pathetic i admit, but it's true and i know i'm not the only one who does this.

i take what i can get, not the best i can get. i feel like there's never a good time to be single.

but sadly, i always have more learning to do because that's just not true. as phil wickham sings, god always loves us. why do i sell my heart to the highest bidder when God has been bidding enormous amounts for me since before i was born. my heart should be long to Him, and that should make it content.

the hard thing is, this is one tough pill to swallow. i dont know why, it just us.
thankfully, i serve a patient, and loving father.